Just..

just say something
anything
to put a soul at ease
for crying eyes
begging hands
and bleeding knees

for even a hello
brightens up a day
even if it's late at night

just..
ive just been wondering
why it's like this
so delirious
yet perfect
so mixed up
but makes perfect sense


just pull the trigger
into the mirror that holds you up
fall onto arms waiting

just tell me to stop..

music up!

xanga's finally less a pain...

my audio clips are working and here they are. two demo recording's ive made for prom auditions.
rmbr to turn off my blog's music b4 playing this. keh keh







*laugh laugh*
die people. die

the law of emptiness and fulfillment

i have begun to think about
to wonder
and to ponder
about the laws that we dont see
yet govern our lives
stronger than any earthly law
for the things that control us
are not the things that appear in front of us
but the things
that are in us
that we cannot
and will not see..

so i shall list down
these laws..
for everyone to look upon
for we all are the same
and abide by them
no matter who we are
no matter what we want to say about it

~
to be
worn out
dropped out
around so many yet alone

waking up only to dread the day
wanting to fall back into sleep

the law of Emptiness
is prominent
alive
everywhere

it feels no mercy
nor guilt
to inflict its spells
on whosoever it feels

on whosoever who is weak at heart
and chases the feeling
of fulfillment but does not seem to find it
not because it isn't there
but because he or she
refuses and does not
see fulfillment
~

the law of fulfillment
is one that contents
that brings a feeling
of wholeness
and ends searches
it lets you breathe at ease
and sleep knowing everything has been done
to its most perfect state

this law
is like it's arch
everywhere
yet unseen

for only those who look
with eyes that do not focus upon flaw
upon weaknesses
but focus upon perfection
in inperfectness
will see it

for nothing in this world is perfect
emptiness does not want us to know that
but fulfillment
fills the holes in which
nothing else can

"..whosoever abides by law will gain by it
and whosoever does not..
will perish by it.."

timeless blade

each passing day
leaves another footprint
as each passing breeze
leaves yet another leaf on the ground

to find a smile
in the depth of pain all at once
when i saw a familiar face again
is one thing out of its place
to expect after all this while

for one wind
leaves me all too cold
hoping
that warmth will blow again
in time
that leaves me
with scars on my arms and face
from fallen branches and twigs
but unforgetable feelings
from falling petals and snowflakes
that brushed past

for one wind
that leaves a wanting
and a desire to push forward
even in vain might it be
that fills my room these days
with songs from the sky
and leaves me at night
with the promise to blow again tomorrow

to find a smile
in the depth of pain
is like finding a breathe of life
in the bed of the slain

stirs up everything
from the back of my head
everything done
and everything said

for i miss
and i miss
choice yet again
plays its game with me

balik kam-puhhhnggg

i wonder how long it took whoever to do whatever this is

heyy peeps.. whtsup? it's the week of hari raya holidays and it's been goood. amazingly, the haze is gone today and we all can breathe a little easier.. ok.. we can breathe.

the only screwed up thing going on now is my friggin xanga blog. ive been trying countless times to post up audio clips but once theyre up, they cant play. frustrating man... sheesh. but that buys u people a little more time before u die from my wailings. bu-hahaha.. movingg onn..

Tuesday was raya day for our fellow malay friends. Lemme just wish a happy belated raya to all of you. And lemme take this chance to apologize for all my wrong doings and ask for your forgiveness this season =)

anywayz.. kdir called me up early in that morning

Kdir : yo dude u up
Ming : i dont know. what dyu think?
Kdir : i'm coming over in a while to drop some stuff at your place. you gonna be home?
Ming : yeah i guess so. what stuff?
Kdir : hahaha, just wait and see.. bukakakaka wah wah wah *toot toot toot*
Ming : HALO? HALO?

ok la.. mebbe the phonecall not EXACTLY like that la but..

mannnn.....

he dropped off like 8 friggin boxes of raya food! EIGHT! not one not two not six or seven but EIGHT!! man, i love u la dude.haha.. oh semangat muhibah..

muhhibah..
muhibbah..

..oh semangat of inter racial perpaduan

the dude's mother's cooking is god-like.. i spent the whole night stuffing my face with rendang, curry, nasi-something i forgot what, salad, ketupat. mann.. seriously, sometimes malay food makes me feel like being malay.. but when i think about all the fasting. ahaha.. its good la.. chinese dude, malay dude friend.. more food. haha

yes, i ENJOY stuffing my face. if im hungry, im hungry.. so excuse me when i pig out on my food if any of you people take me along for a meal. haha.. unless the occasion calls for it, chances of ming actually eating politely are more or less.. zeroh

speaking about meals..

on Monday, the day before raya ( well yea duh) , my old friend Yih Shin took a few of us out for her bday lunch at Chillies.. oh man, need i say more? wait.. is it chillis or chillies? aha.. wadahek. the day was a blast.. and guess what?

ming took a lala pic thingy. haha xD

haha.. well yeah, i dread these small, packed, lala grafittied pics that people carry around in wallets but somehow, i knew my time had come. well, this is a whole other gang of friends i have other than those i usually hang around with, june darren grace and all.. these people are the more.. how shud i put it.. more in touch with their chinese side? haha.. yeap.. if any of ya'll are reading this dont kill me ok? u know i love you people xD haha...

my only regret? i keep wishing i had done this earlier with someone else.. i think i know why people do these.. u wanna know? try taking one and putting it in ur wallet or purse or sth. u'll find urself looking at it again and again.. and smiling everytime u do. or maybe it's just me.

well.. thats all people. time to go burn the bio outta my brains with some games.

mebbe i'll write something more b4 i go..

peace peeps.. ming out

My Music Blog

yo peeps.. here's a short note.

ive started up a new blog in xanga exclusively dedicated for my music. Anything from my own original compositions to any other unearthly noises i have recorded.

Due to the fact i dont have any copyrights over my original work, this site is by invite only so if any of youz are interested on getting ear cancer at this young tender age, feel free to get the link from me ( if i so think that u are worthy of my noise xD ) haha..

Malaysia.. The Paris of the East

hey sup peeps..

yes its that time again. the time where ming has got absolutely too much time in his hands and too much sugar in his blood.

wher the birdies?

so.. has anyone noticed how amazingly romantic our country has become lately? i mean just take a good look around.. malaysia's MORE than malaysia suddenly! wait.. dont take a good look.. who can see anything?

If you ask me, i think we should take this from a more positive point of view, should we not? It's always good to be positive.. Har-har

The days are now soooo cool! I mean, we are like, totally shielded from the sun! Isnt that great for a tropical country? Finally some shade rite? Oh.. joy! The blessing! We can finally go and do those outdoor activities that we Malaysian's have heard soo much about! Lazing about in the cool cool breeze in the afternoon, falling asleep outside in the shadow of the sun.. watching the birds fly by.. oh wait.. what birds?

mmhmm.. still no birdies

Its like all of a sudden, the clouds have decided to decend upon us city dwellers! Oh, no longer do we have to dread those long windy road trips up to Camerons and Frasers! They've come to us! Screw that Genting Highlands! wooo hooo..

And ive heard this rumour going about where u ACTUALLY get a natural intoxicating high if u step outside and take in a deeeep breath. WowW! The same thing we get sucking on our puntung-puntung rokok and shisha and wad have you.. for free!! Oh, its not the same? Well both of them kill us anyway and one's free.. what an offer!

babai birdies

And if THAT doesnt get any better, the nights are sooo obsessively romantic! A MUST for couples to roam about. The beautiful misty nights, cool cool wind, the dim evenings.. the stars.. wait.. no stars. But heyyy, 3 doess outweigh 1 doesnt it? Ohh, this is too much for a malaysian like me.

So how u people coping with the haze? Reading the papers lately? I dont think we should scold the Indo's la.. rite?

Not nice la.. what can they do?


Protect us from tsunami lo. Fair ma.

From guitars to er-hus

one at hand and the other to be claimed
with both in grasp greatness lays in wait

woo.. deep.. xD

hey peeps. wadup wid u people lately? hope u all have been good living ur own lives. so yeah its been quite a while since my last post. here's another one for u readers.

of da late, nothing much has been going on in skool cept for..

• getting our results and forcasts back
• we just finished yet another round of pointless exams
  
• casino Keledang every single day where the stakes are high and manner's dont exist
• Chinese-Girl-Club of Keledang.. well the girls who speak more mandarin than anyone in our class have been desperately trying to teach Ming how to sing/speak mandarin

yeah u heard that rite.

since the year's already almost at it's end, and ive begun to take a few things that im doing more seriously, ive decided to finally start learning my fatherless-mothertongue. yep.. and it so happens that i have the perfect people to teach it to me

my two most dedicated lao-shi's and friends xD
cheryl and sun mei

from printing lyrics to teaching tunes ,writing every single friggin han-yu-ping-yin or pronounciation of each friggin chinese word in english and explaining what each one of them means.. these girls have done it all for me and i am truly thankful. uve helped this hopeless african boy become chinese again.

of course.. considering the depth and power of my chinese, the both of them weren't the only ones who've helped me.. or had to help me. but since i got a nice picture of both of them and non of the others, its the only one ive posted it up. haha.. thank you, all you beautiful-really-well-chinese-speaking-people

so far, ive memorised and understood ONE song.. (not bad for an amateur's first week rite? haha.. ) and im starting on another one. i'm learning songs by this chinese artist called Lee Hom. truly someone i cud take as a role model. friggin talented dude. seriously..

my understanding of chinese so far? well, it's a real pain to learn.. but totally worth the effort seeing my friends smile when i sing it for them ( considering they're my teachers.. and they're girls for one fact.. makes it all the better xD ahaha.. ) and totally worth every single minute.

well, till next time. take care people. it's back to recording for me.

peace

Cute Without The "E"

here's something worth hearing

Your lipstick,his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on..

When everything you'll get is everything that you've wanted, princess

well which would you prefer

My finger on the trigger, or

me face down, down across your floor

me face down, down across your floor

me face down, down across your floor

Well just so long as this thing's loaded..

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on
when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window

how about I'm outside of your window

Watching him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker

you're such a sucker

for a sweet talker, yeah..

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking

the only thing that I regret is that I..
I never let you hold me back..

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you'll never love me

I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?


And all of this was all your fault
And all of this..

makes things worse..

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life

she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else..

I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason

I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life..

beautiful nights

the black nebula

due to the dorongans i have been obliged to post yet another blog post. haha.. here we go peeps.

so it's 3 days into the holidays week. and lately.. ive been having the best time of my life.. a blast.. the best ive had for quite a long time. i mean duh, we've been having exams for the last two months so i guess this pretty much is better compared to that.. haha. but seriously, the last few days have been great.

Tuesday..
..started out great and ended up the same. On monday night, maybelyn called up and asked for advice about what to get for her boy's bday on sunday. so being us, we talked and talked and decided after it all that it wasnt enough, so, i had to follow her for an hour the next day to help her look around. Some hour it turned out to be.

She came around 10 plus in the morning with cheryl already in the car and picked me up. Yeap, girls picking guys up again xD oh.. the blow to the ego. haha. We went straight to ou and started looking around.

I swear, i tried on at least 4000bucks worth of shirts and i had at least 7 diff types of colognes ( is that how u spell it? lol ) on me at the end of the day.

Ming-the-present-advisor turned out to be Ming-the-barbie-doll for the girls and may was definately enjoying it. I'd be lying if i say i didnt. haha..

There was that time in fcuk where both the girls grabbed the shirts they wanted me to try on and shoved me into the changing room with both of them coming in after me.. free show for the promoters around i tell you.. but hey, i didnt mind. so, i've been thinking that i'll start charging people to use me as a barbie doll.. hey, it's hard work. may had me walk up and down under this light and that turn this way and that too.. haha

We looked everywhere, talked about everything under the sun, squeezed into a couch for a fruitshake, tried sumore clothes on.. had a totally fun mad day. It's kinda nice to have two girls to urself once in a while u know? haha.. sshh.. i didnt say that

So, by the time we were done. It was already 5pm. Yeah.. I was too occupied to notice the tons of msgs and missed calls my phone recieved. How couldnt i? I nvr knew these two girls wud be so much fun. haha.. It was kinda amazing i didnt get screwed though. Plus, i managed to go out again today. but i'll save that for another post.. haha..

my arms are sore from all the batting.. and thanks to alicia i got tons of pics from today. finally i have so many pictures from an outing. haha.. thanks ali.. well gtg.. tired and i got another long day tmr.

peace people.. and to all the pmr-ers.. All the best!

choice and belief

choice is an illusion we face
we must not strive to figure out which to choose
but why we chose what we did
and from there
rethink
rebuild
repair
and build ourselves

so make your choice
to light
or dark

we live in a world where right is a matter of perpective, as is wrong. what may seem right to one would be wrong to another. yet, we still live our lives. unbothered and oblivious to the living dilemma. what IS right and wrong?

does anyone stop to wonder what is the point of living each day again and again? where is your purpose in this life we live? what are u expecting when it's all said and done? when ur done working ur butt off in school, college, uni and work.. what do you expect?
happiness?
a long life?
freedom?

for happiness is yet another abstract belonging we have. some never seem to find it, yet others have it in abundance.

for life is this day that we live and it's all there is. for once it's gone, we've lived our day out.

for freedom is what percieve it is. some find freedom from people behind closed doors and others outside of them..

" for those who believe, no explanation is necessarry..
..for those who don't, none will suffice"

we struggle in our lives to believe some things and disregard others. and religion isnt the only thing we wrestle with..

do we believe we can make it thru today?
and come out strong tomorrow?
do we believe we can make a difference in someone's life?
and help them do the same to others?
do we believe we can change who we are?
and live life not regretting what we have become?

for the second we stop believing, we stop having faith.. all hope is gone.. and getting hope back requires all heart and soul

life like everything in this world, is a game, a race we all run. like everything has it's order.. like the planets and it's orbits, the rule of gravity, the seasons
life has it's rules..

as much as anyone denies it and defies it, anyone who doesnt play to the rules
never gets anything good out of a game

so what are the rules in this world?
what is right or wrong?

what is purpose
or your meaning

have u thought about that?
i know i have
i know mine

when darkness turns to light,
it ends tonight..
it ends tonight..

just a little insight..
will make this right..
it's too late to fight..
it ends tonight